Life: Reloaded

Decided to stretch the flexibility of my writing and ponder on some late revelations and past reveries of my life. I know not much of us would go to an extent to be all emo about our lives, well, not publicly and extremely detailed per se but it's common human nature so sue me.

I knew life was a bittersweet exchange of ups and downs-- think roller coaster-- but what struck me is how quickly these things happen. One day you go home, an exuberant smile painted on your lips, thinking days like these-- they don't come around this perfect. A minute or two, perhaps a message or a text or overhearing something, that smile quickly dissipates, struck with the worse news, or perhaps on some occasion purposely meant to recall that one dreadful event long suppressed.

Let's indulge from a common standpoint, eh? Perhaps something as common as crushes or love or whatever you wanna call it. Knowing someone won't be yours, tell me that doesn't suck? Or perhaps you wanna tell them so badly, but you're afraid to and you post up these insane lines you got from some mushy gunk love site, hoping they'll notice, or at least get a clue. Meh, only the brave and daring profit, buddy. Reality check. Up for grabs, she doesn't know. Don't think I have the balls to back up whatever the hell I just ranted about. Hope she did...oh, wait, I make it sooooo obvious. Great job, genius.

Friendship-- I lost a good friend and I don't know why. I don't know the cause but I still blame myself because I am not really the type to say I'm sorry first or even blatantly start making that move. But I'm really sorry nonetheless for whatever it is and perhaps everything will mend in due time again. Wow, I'm writing a long one. Cool.

Lastly, for some time now, I've been worrying about my favorite cousin because I feel so helplessly powerless to do anything to help her or at least make her feel better. I'm not spreading details because I feel this tragedy is best kept in closed doors but regardless, I'd want nothing more than see her the way I'm used to: her usual upbeat and zealous self. And so I pray that later developments will prove more positive for her. Keep safe, 'cous.

Welp, I've gone on for like three or so paragraphs now--I don't want to count how long I wrote this thing-- so I'm done and yeah, killing fifteen minutes for this was interesting. Plus, I really want to write some more stories like the old days but I honestly, I just don't have the will to anymore after everything. I'm dead inside...See ya!